I do believe in subtext. I DO, I DO!

[dragojustine]

Beware a massive attack of the poorly-edited tl;dr.
SGA 5x06: Slashy subtext? What slashy subtext? Oh, THAT slashy subtext.

OH MY GOD JESUS CHRIST I HAVE NO WORDS I AM FLAILING AND CAPSLOCKING AND CRYING AND JUST GENERALLY LOSING MY SHIT OVER THIS.

IF I NEVER SEE ANOTHER EPISODE OF SGA- IF I NEVER SEE ANOTHER EPISODE OF ANY SF- HELL, IF I NEVER SEE ANOTHER EPISODE OF ANY TV, EVER, THAT IS OKAY. I AM GOOD. THIS WAS IT. THIS WAS EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WANT OR HOPE TO GET FROM A SHOW

This just went on the shortlist (the very, very short list) of the greatest, most emotionally affecting episodes of anything ever made. Disclosure: this one was personal for me. I mean to say... I don't know how to say what I mean, as I am too emotional over it still. But there is this about me: Flowers for Algernon was the single most frightening book I have read in my entire life. My mind is everything. It is what I feel confident in, what I rely on, what my entire self-image is based on- deeper than self-image, what my entire conception of self is based on. My worth- my ONLY worth, the one thing that I will ALWAYS rely on and ALWAYS be confident about. There is nothing you could promise me- endless wealth, eternal life, nothing- that could persuade me to give up one damn IQ point, and I would give up ANYTHING- literally, with no reservations, anything- to keep my intelligence intact.

I am not saying this is good. It is, in fact, damned problematic. And that is the point of connection between Rodney McKay and myself, because that is the single, most stripped down, most basic conception of his character: his mind is everything. It always has been everything, and everything else has fallen by the wayside as unimportant, and this is the man that resulted. And it IS problematic and over his time in Atlantis we have seen him struggle so much, and with such great difficulty and inconsistency, to balance that and rectify that.

I have often seen the writing advice "what is the worst thing you can do to this character?" That is what this episode was. This was Rodney McKay's worst nightmare, in the absolutely most literal and non-exaggerated sense. This was the worst thing that could ever happen to him, and it made me cry and disturbed me on a level I haven't seen on television in a very long time. The writing was phenomenal, at stripping him away layer by layer, at showing us how he struggles to retain his hold- setting up the video protocol, his pride at little things he remembers, admitting to John he's faking, asking to say his goodbye's while he's still himself. They stripped it ALL away from him and left the character with simply nothing, until that horrible scene where he is completely unable to understand what's going on around him and lapses into muttering pi under his breath. That was... I had to pause it, and couldn't start watching again for a very long time.

And even if there were no John Sheppard and no subtext at all, this would still have affected me more than any TV episode I've watched in a damn long time.

But, of course, there is John Sheppard.

Look, my fundamental objection to the SGA writing is that the writers do not seem to have a clue what they are actually writing, you know? And this is the prime example of that. Because they wrote 42 minutes of the most intense ship manifesto I've ever seen, the most intense story of love and devotion and dedication and genuine care and connection between two people, and they just... did not notice that those two people were Rodney and John, not Rodney and Jennifer? That kind of amuses me. But seriously, of course Day-6-and-fading-fast-Rodney loves Jennifer. She is nice to him and she cares about him and she takes care of him and she's pretty. There truly was something sweet and genuine between them, and it was nice to see. And, ironically, the reason it was so genuinely nice to see was that my 'ship was so utterly unthreatened by it. Because Jennifer is pretty and nice to him and he loves her like a very shiny thing. But when he wakes up in the cold and the dark and he is all alone and his mind is leaving him and he is losing himself and he is more terrified than he has ever been in his life... there is only one person he could possibly think of running to. With everything else taken away from him, he keeps hold of "go to John."

Dude, I actually was NOT OTP about John/Rodney before this.

I tend to keep a few episodes on hand to show to people who don't get slash (okay, I have only done this twice). Once I used the ep of Sports Night where Casey admits to Dan that he turned down the career of a lifetime and more or less lost his wife in order to stay with Dan. Another time I used the episode of Rome where Vorenus jumps into the gladiator pit for Pullo. I think... I think, if I ever have anyone ask me again, I will use this one. Because I have NEVER seen a more direct illustration of "why slash?" in my life. Play Rodney's love confession to Jennifer next to the peir scene. Just do it. I dare you. *dazed headshake*

The pier scene. John's refusal to say goodbye. "Then I'll remind you." "You're stuck with me." "You're a good friend, Arthur." The spit take.

I just... I have nothing else to say. I could capslock forever and it would all be redundant.

I mean, there are other things to say about this episode. Hell, I even have a negative thing to say: Why the hell did they not believe Ronon? Seriously, why don't they all immediately think, "Oh! Ancient artifact now regarded as a shrine that disables the parasite!" because that was the most obvious conclusion in the whole damn world and they should have just assumed that. But that is, I think, the only negative thing I had.

Here, other positive things, as I think of them: Woolsey. I just... Woolsey. Robert Picardo knocked his little Alzheimer's speech out of the park. The writers are loading more characterization and more humanization onto him, in a shorter period of time... *dazed headshake*

Ronon is looking good again. The Wig Of Awfulness seems to have retreated somewhat, so he has a face again, and now that he has a face again, he is Awesome. Everything about him was awesome. Especially the beginning of his first scene with Jeannie. I just... That was astonishing.

David Hewlett deserves an Emmy for this. There is simply no way around that. (JFlan too, kind of, except I'm pretty sure they won't give out an Emmy for "most heart-wrenching secret gay love")

John Sheppard's pajamas. I think anything I can say here would be superfluous.

Everything about Jeannie was perfect. I have never liked her more, which is impressive, cause I liked her a lot before.

And, lastly... I really liked the interactions between Keller and Jeannie. They both care for Rodney so much, and there was such genuine warmth between them, such a feeling of being each other's support system in this. I just... yeah. SGA has actually had some incredibly good female-only scenes, between Teyla and Elizabeth, then between Sam and Keller, and Sam and Jeannie, and now Jeannie and Keller. They just tend to strike me, for some reason. I don't expect them (because I am used to not getting them, in SF), and I don't expect to like them as much as I do (because I don't actually think about the lack of them, all that much). I feel the same way whenever Janet and Sam interact on SG1, and for Inara and Kaylee on Firefly. (BSG was in interesting phenomenon, because it had so many more female characters with such very interesting power dynamics between them, but never once gave me this feeling of genuine warm support and friendship). I have just missed that so much ever since I stopped watching Gilmore Girls, and I didn't even know I missed it 'til I saw it.

Comments

[miriad.livejournal.com]

I KNEW YOU YOU WOULD LOVE IT!!!!!!!!

[dragojustine.livejournal.com]

How could I NOT?

(Oh God. The spit-take, and the laughter. I just... I think my heart burst from joy)

[miriad.livejournal.com]

That was my favorite part, hands down. From the scene with Rodney screaming in the hallway to the spit take and JFlan's GIGGLE (and yeah, he was giggling)- I just can't express in mere words my level of squee.

[dragojustine.livejournal.com]

He did! He giggled. There is no word for that but a giggle. They waited the perfect beat, and they LOOKED at each other, and then he did the spit take, and then he covers his mouth and curls over and GIGGLES, and then he just leans back and... relaxes into Rodney's space.

It was just the most stunning scene...

And he did it while wearing the pink plaid and cute panda and bracelet and bare feet.

What are we even supposed to do with that?

[miriad.livejournal.com]

And Rodney was wearing his leather coat. GAH!!!!

We're supposed to say "Thank you sir, may I have another?" and hope they give us more. Heh.

You know, JFlan is so funny. Because when I've seen hiim in interviews and read about hsi family and (I think) his 4 kids, he has this very hetero virile sense about him, for lack of better terminology.

But as soon as he dons the SGA gear and starts playing Sheppard, he just gives off this other, different vibe and when he's with Rodney (esp. in this episode) he just pings me as gay. Not just a little and not conflicted or bi. GAY. I mean, look at all thsoe episodes where hey try to hook him up with women and he just seems so uncomfortable and out of his element but put him with Rodney... you see what I'm saying.

What kills me is I don't know if it's something he's doig on purpose or if it's just a side effect of how he imagines Sheppard.

[dragojustine.livejournal.com]

I actually think the single best thing about this show might be the way JFlan plays against type. I mean, from the word go, he's played the character against action-hero tropes and against type, and sometimes right against the dialog. It's turned John into such an incredibly quirky, fascinating, unexpected, real character who I love in just about every way it's possible to love, when he could have been just a Big Dumb Hero. Given that the writing did set him up as kind of a flirty heterosexual playboy, the way he plays against that... yeah. He comes off as gay.

And I think this fandom has done such incredible things with reading John as gay, in addition to (as distinct from) just slashy. It's... one of my favorite things about this fandom, and it's ALL made possible by JFlan being just brilliant. Uh, I was having a discussion about it here (http://siegeofangels.livejournal.com/419084.html?thread=1231372#t1231372), and if you haven't read that fic, you REALLY should.

[miriad.livejournal.com]

I think his portrayal is brilliant and I find it amazing that they've let him do what he's done. They wanted the Big Dumb Hero and what they got was a Big Damn Hero, which isn't the same thing.

I recently rewatched the pilot and even in that, he's bucking against what John Sheppard was supposed to be.

I find many of the stories about John being gay and always knowing it, about issues with his father knowing it and hating him for it to be facnating- there are so many great stories that just work with John that never worked with Jack or even Daniel in SG-1 fandom.

I've read, and I'm sure you have as well, the stories that try to explore Jack's pastas a closeted gay man or bi or whatever and none of them have really worked for me, except all the JD stuff by synecdochic.

I read your comments on the linked fic and you are totally right about John's portrayal in fandom. In all the au's that I've read, there is still a reason why he's in the closet or secretive and why he still has that layer of "different" even when he's not military.

And the thing that makes me love him more than almost anything is that the person he's found to connect with- to be himself and allow himself to be happy- is RODNEY FUCKING MCKAY. I love that, because it's like finding like and being happy with broken and different and odd. They're two extremely smart men who don't fit into the holes that society is trying to fit them into and once they find each other, they finally have a chance to take a breath and be THEM.

I mean, let's go all the way back to season one with the personal shield- the looks on their faces when John throws Rodney over the railing and when they confess to Elizabeth that John shot Rodney. In the leg. When Gordin punches Rodney in that ep, it's with malice. When John throws Rodney over the railing it's with a sense of wonder and adventure, one that is shared between the two of them.

I've had a rough day- am I making ANY sense? At all?

[dragojustine.livejournal.com]

Oh, you are making SO MUCH sense!

there are so many great stories that just work with John that never worked with Jack or even Daniel in SG-1 fandom.

God, THIS. I love the way Jack and John, and Rodney and Daniel, are so parallel, the way both slashy pairs are founded on the same basic soldier/citizen and intensely protective dynamic, the way the same *types* of stories get told about them- and it is IMPOSSIBLE to tell the SAME stories about them. The way AUs work with John/Rodney and don't with Jack/Daniel, for example, that we've talked about. But lots of other things too.

Interestingly, I adore Jack's past as a closeted gay man- except that I want to draw the distinction between "gay man who actually had sex with other men, and is known to at least a few others" (which I tried to do in Problem Solving, but is much rarer and harder to pull off) and "gay man who has never actually acted on that" (which: OH GOD do I love. Yaay for virgin-with-men-Jack. *fans*).

But all the same, Jack is *slashy* and we can read him as gay- but John it seems like John is *queer*, and that can be defended right from the text even if there was no one in particular to pair him off with. You would never see fabulous meta explorations of identity like "Straight as a Circle" with Jack. Whereas... yeah. you're right. I don't think I've ever seen an AU where Jack didn't have that sense of being different, just not fitting in the boxes.

And the way you phrase those last two paragraphs is just beautiful. Yes. *nodnod*

[miriad.livejournal.com]

But all the same, Jack is *slashy* and we can read him as gay- but John it seems like John is *queer*, and that can be defended right from the text even if there was no one in particular to pair him off with.

YES. THIS.

I've just had a thought- where I see Jack as mostly straight but makes an exception for Daniel, I don't see John as only gay for Rodney. In fact, it's the opposite, at least in my mind.

Rodney and his whole "blonds" thing- that doesn't feel made up or forced or a cover for "secret" homosexual tendencies. I believe that Rodney does love women and would go so far as to say that he may never have even thought about men until Sheppard.

That might be a stretch but it wouldn't surprise me. I think Sheppard surprised him, sideswiped a guy who though he had himself all figured out. Much like Daniel did (at least in my mind, some of the time) to Jack.

I have mentioned in the past that I am a total romantic and the idea of people finding each other after years of being alone and having to change their view of themselves to make something RIGHT actually work really pushes all my buttons. And that's why John and Rodney have always just worked for me because I truly believe that neither one was happy until they found each other.

John LIKES Rodney's personality and he may be the only person in more than one universe who would be willing to put up with it ALL the time. He always seems to be amused by Rodney, even when everyone else is annoyed to the point of violence. That does something for me as well.

[miriad.livejournal.com]

I also wanted to say that you are dead on the money, regarding why Rodney tells Jennifer that he loves her. YOU ARE SO RIGHT.

The Powers That Be wanted us to believe that Rodney loves someone and boy, did they achieve that. It was just not who they intended it to be. And that's okay. :)

John and Rodney are my OTP. I've said it before and I'll keep on saying it. What this did for me was not just reinforce that belief but make it deeper and more real. And even if they didn't do it on purpose, I have to thank the writers for it.

I cried SO HARD.

[dragojustine.livejournal.com]

The Powers That Be wanted us to believe that Rodney loves someone and boy, did they achieve that.

Yes. Heh. They did an extraordinary job of stripping Rodney down- take away all the trappings and take him right down to the most basic foundation. And his most basic foundation is that he... loves John Sheppard.

Go writers!

[miriad.livejournal.com]

Go writers!

Would have been better if they actually understood what they were doing. *snerk*

[sid]

So. You liked it?

:-D

Rodney's faith in John's friendship was the most touching thing EVER. Who do you go to when your heart is breaking and your world is smashing around you? To your best friend, whose heart is breaking, too.

*SOB!!!*

[dragojustine.livejournal.com]

So. You liked it?

Oh. *g* Did I forget to mention that part?

YES. ABSOLUTELY. Sob, indeed.

[jd-junkie.livejournal.com]

I don't watch Atlantis, primarily because I tried (really, really I did) but just didn't care enough about any of the characters ... and *waits for slashy hammer of doom to fall* I didn't SEE John and Rodney. Heretical, I know. So I gave up. (That and I adore my own OTP SO fucking much that I don't want to lured away, clings OMG).
But all the reaction to this ep has persuaded me to watch this ep when it airs here next month.
Maybe then I'll get what all the fuss about ... :-))

[dragojustine.livejournal.com]

and *waits for slashy hammer of doom to fall* I didn't SEE John and Rodney.

That's 'cause there's not a lot there to see. Onscreen, I mean. It isn't till Season 3 Miller's Crossing that I can definitively point to an episode and say, "see! slashy!" Before that they are one of those ships you have to squint to see. But Atlantis is weird like that- the show is not very good, at all, and the show off-screen (in our heads, in fandom, in fic) is drastically better than the show as written. I think if I was not in love- truly, utterly, astonishingly in love- with both of those characters, I couldn't even sit through an hour of the damn thing.

So I completely understand why you gave up, is all I'm saying :)