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Oh, my lingering family issues...
Oct. 24th, 2007 11:30 pmSo the official answer is no, C will not be visiting me over Thanksgiving. Mom spun this whole thing about how she couldn't stand to lose both of her kids on the same Thanksgiving, but I'll be home for Christmas and the real reason is that she's punishing me for living with Dustin. Because I'm going to be some sort of horrible bad influence on my pristine sister or she's just generally upset or god knows but I'm pissed because dammit, I wanted to see C and I wanted to see her without mom and dad around all the time and I wanted someone to visit me here. And I've lived with Dustin for over a year now and even though mom and dad have been better about it than I honestly would have predicted (in fact it's been really really good between us since I moved out, which makes me think I should have moved out about a year earlier, because one fewer years of arguing about inanities like phone calls after 10pm and church attendance would have helped everybody's blood pressure), and even though I know they have every right to feel uncomfortable about it and I can't change that it just pisses me off that they're finding stupid petty little ways to try to punish me for it.
*gasps for breath*
And I just... really really really wanted to see her for Thanksgiving and I wanted to spend Thanksgiving here, not up in Seattle, because I just... want this to feel like home too and I just want these things to not be an issue and I just... need to have a good cry now.
Plus, Dustin's afraid he's going to be fired and even though there are plenty of jobs here for him, that combined with my own apparent inability to get work combined with the realization of how incredibly unstable and un-long-term-suited this whole damn thing we have going is and what do I want with my life really and why am I stuck in these temporary situations that don't even make me happy in the short term and ANGST.
Well, that felt good. I guess while I'm here I should report on my required reading. ( Are You Dumb Enough to be Rich? G William Barnett II )
ETA: So C and dad are visiting on the 8th for several days, and they have offered to buy my ticket home for Thanksgiving. They always do this, pull my anger out from under me with awkward peace offerings that don't fix the underlying thing but make it impossible to be pissy and just leave you... sad. But it's sweet, it really is. And I have a job interview for tomorrow, too.
*gasps for breath*
And I just... really really really wanted to see her for Thanksgiving and I wanted to spend Thanksgiving here, not up in Seattle, because I just... want this to feel like home too and I just want these things to not be an issue and I just... need to have a good cry now.
Plus, Dustin's afraid he's going to be fired and even though there are plenty of jobs here for him, that combined with my own apparent inability to get work combined with the realization of how incredibly unstable and un-long-term-suited this whole damn thing we have going is and what do I want with my life really and why am I stuck in these temporary situations that don't even make me happy in the short term and ANGST.
Well, that felt good. I guess while I'm here I should report on my required reading. ( Are You Dumb Enough to be Rich? G William Barnett II )
ETA: So C and dad are visiting on the 8th for several days, and they have offered to buy my ticket home for Thanksgiving. They always do this, pull my anger out from under me with awkward peace offerings that don't fix the underlying thing but make it impossible to be pissy and just leave you... sad. But it's sweet, it really is. And I have a job interview for tomorrow, too.
