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dragojustineI'm feeling babbly today.
* Investigation into the effects of zat'ni'ktel fire on the common Peep, by Dr. Samantha Carter. (Look, nothing with a title like that needs a detailed rec, okay?)
* Fucking While Feminist, an interview over at The Sexist (and yesterday's follow up, on litmus tests). I kind of want to just throw this out there somewhere in fandom and say "discuss," because I really want to hear people talk about it and I know I don't have that kind of readership here.
What I do know is that my reactions to this are completely different than they would have been three years ago-- the difference being that three years ago I was dating somebody who will trivialize things that I think are important concerns, who believes my right to bodily autonomy isn't necessarily absolute, who engages in some casual homophobia, who would have blamed me at least a little bit if I had been raped, who had a bit of a Madonna/whore complex and issues with me having a high sex drive-- it makes a far greater difference than I could possibly have anticipated. I feel like I'm cheating with The Boy now, to be honest, now that I don't have to dodge around some topics, now that I don't spend so much time thinking "men are just like that, it's just what you have to deal with if you want a relationship," now that I don't end up constantly weighing what's worth fighting about versus what I should just put up with.
I feel like the rug is going to get pulled out from under me at any second, because in my experience, men just aren't like that- and sometimes I wonder how the hell I'll ever make male friends, when I move and start trying to meet people again, given that I think The Boy may have spoiled me well past any ability to make those compromises.
* OMG YOU GUYS there is Johnny Weir/Apolo Ohno porn. I just *hands* It exists on the internet, because fandom loves me and will never fail me. And it's actually good, with this fabulous outsider perspective on Johnny Being Johnny and it has Johnny/Stephane.
* I have a hard time with Adam Lambert because he's actually too raunchy for me. I mean, I totally get why fangirls love him- both the icky (fetishization of gay boys) and the rebellious (he's just so fierce and all that gay-boy-raunchy right there in the open feels like a big fat Fuck You right where it's most needed, you know? Or that's just me) and the completely obvious (the boy can sing and the boy can move). It's just that this sort of thing falls so clearly into the realm of "fap material" for me, not "light entertainment."
But since my difficulties with Adam have to do with his videos being a little Too Much, it turns out that putting his music on my iPod leads to me singing the entire album three times straight through until I can sing all the raunchiest bits. *facepalm* I defy anyone who likes boys to listen to "For Your Entertainment" and not get a little wet. "Strut" is my new official "dancing around in my underwear with an imaginary mic" song. Oh baby, I wanna see you STRUT. I just. What. The. Fuck. I can't even. Adam.
I have to learn not to try to resist these things!
* My secret shame: Dancing With The Stars (Really, I love this show so much it's ridiculous. This is only the fourth season I've watched- it's not exactly an enduring love- but it just Pleases Me). Anyway, is it just me, or are Evan and Nicole in just a totally different competition from the others? (EVAN! Oh, Evan, you are winning me over with frightening ease) And also, is anyone else completely shocked at ho,w good Pamela Anderson is?
Plus, I think Buzz Aldrin's partner deserves huge props. She's done a great job choreographing things they can actually dance together (many female pros with terrible male stars just have the guy stand still while they show off) and costuming them well and taking something that could have been embarrassing and instead making it very sweet and positive.
* Investigation into the effects of zat'ni'ktel fire on the common Peep, by Dr. Samantha Carter. (Look, nothing with a title like that needs a detailed rec, okay?)
* Fucking While Feminist, an interview over at The Sexist (and yesterday's follow up, on litmus tests). I kind of want to just throw this out there somewhere in fandom and say "discuss," because I really want to hear people talk about it and I know I don't have that kind of readership here.
What I do know is that my reactions to this are completely different than they would have been three years ago-- the difference being that three years ago I was dating somebody who will trivialize things that I think are important concerns, who believes my right to bodily autonomy isn't necessarily absolute, who engages in some casual homophobia, who would have blamed me at least a little bit if I had been raped, who had a bit of a Madonna/whore complex and issues with me having a high sex drive-- it makes a far greater difference than I could possibly have anticipated. I feel like I'm cheating with The Boy now, to be honest, now that I don't have to dodge around some topics, now that I don't spend so much time thinking "men are just like that, it's just what you have to deal with if you want a relationship," now that I don't end up constantly weighing what's worth fighting about versus what I should just put up with.
I feel like the rug is going to get pulled out from under me at any second, because in my experience, men just aren't like that- and sometimes I wonder how the hell I'll ever make male friends, when I move and start trying to meet people again, given that I think The Boy may have spoiled me well past any ability to make those compromises.
* OMG YOU GUYS there is Johnny Weir/Apolo Ohno porn. I just *hands* It exists on the internet, because fandom loves me and will never fail me. And it's actually good, with this fabulous outsider perspective on Johnny Being Johnny and it has Johnny/Stephane.
* I have a hard time with Adam Lambert because he's actually too raunchy for me. I mean, I totally get why fangirls love him- both the icky (fetishization of gay boys) and the rebellious (he's just so fierce and all that gay-boy-raunchy right there in the open feels like a big fat Fuck You right where it's most needed, you know? Or that's just me) and the completely obvious (the boy can sing and the boy can move). It's just that this sort of thing falls so clearly into the realm of "fap material" for me, not "light entertainment."
But since my difficulties with Adam have to do with his videos being a little Too Much, it turns out that putting his music on my iPod leads to me singing the entire album three times straight through until I can sing all the raunchiest bits. *facepalm* I defy anyone who likes boys to listen to "For Your Entertainment" and not get a little wet. "Strut" is my new official "dancing around in my underwear with an imaginary mic" song. Oh baby, I wanna see you STRUT. I just. What. The. Fuck. I can't even. Adam.
I have to learn not to try to resist these things!
* My secret shame: Dancing With The Stars (Really, I love this show so much it's ridiculous. This is only the fourth season I've watched- it's not exactly an enduring love- but it just Pleases Me). Anyway, is it just me, or are Evan and Nicole in just a totally different competition from the others? (EVAN! Oh, Evan, you are winning me over with frightening ease) And also, is anyone else completely shocked at ho,w good Pamela Anderson is?
Plus, I think Buzz Aldrin's partner deserves huge props. She's done a great job choreographing things they can actually dance together (many female pros with terrible male stars just have the guy stand still while they show off) and costuming them well and taking something that could have been embarrassing and instead making it very sweet and positive.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-31 12:46 am (UTC)THIS. RIGHT HERE. this is at the heart of my deep and abiding love for Adam Lambert. I just want to cheer every time he's too sexy and too over the top and too divalicious for words, because I want that out there in the world where people have to look at it and stop putting queers into little boxes that we don't want to fit into.
and omg is that Apolo/Johnny fic not divine? I'm super creeped out by Apolo Ono, but I love that fic :D :D
no subject
Date: 2010-03-31 08:00 pm (UTC)(I know some people think Apolo is a douchebag- and I get why, really- but I kind of love him a lot)
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Date: 2010-03-31 01:15 am (UTC)Precisely!
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Date: 2010-03-31 08:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-31 04:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-31 08:02 pm (UTC)Long comment is too long
Date: 2010-05-09 06:58 pm (UTC)Fucking while feminist: not just a straight issue, either. I've just had six or so dates with a woman who is, I've come to realize, misogynist in a way I'm reeeeeally not OK with. She's got the classic "maybe the menz will let me in the club if I call women bitches!" macho schtick. It took a while for it to come out, but now that it has--yeah, veto.
Plus, there's other social issues. I stand a moderately better chance of dating feminists because I only date women, but then there's racists, ableists, classists, etc ad nauseam.
I just remind myself that I know lots of amazing, progressive women (and some great progressive men, but my circle is mostly female), and that they represent a larger population. I just have to find one woman who's a member of that population and who digs me and vice versa. It's doable.
Figuring it out fast, though--obviously I fail at that, which is too bad. But Ms. Friedman's description of how to sort through internet-dating profiles is a tip I'll have to use. It's obviously harder to find someone who's hot and cool AND actual-fax progressive, but that's life as an actual-fax progressive anyway, right? Harder, but the right thing.
Long comment response is also too long
Date: 2010-05-09 09:34 pm (UTC)Re: Adam, I should point out that this post was from a month ago. I sort of went incommunicado on lj for a month, but in that time? I have utterly freakin fallen in love with the boy. I ended up watching every minute of him on AI, and reading/watching every interview I could get my hands on, and... he's a sweetheart. He comes off as sweet and funny and talented and versatile and media-savvy and genuine and loyal and charismatic and kind (and a little dippy sometimes- please, Adam, stop talking about astrology- but that's all part of the charm). Watching his personal progress from Rolling Stone to today, as he struggles very openly and publicly with walking the line between honesty and privacy, with dealing with his own politicization, is really something.
So it turns out the raunchy clips and gifs floating around my flist misrepresented him, or at least represented him incompletely, because he sings gorgeous haunting vulnerable acoustic sets, and performs with this sense of joy and playfulness that at times is downright innocent, and I am just blown away.
Plus, for all that I'm enjoying the electro-dance-pop thing on his album, rock is where I live. It honestly feels like I can't even remember what my life was like before I heard him do Whole Lotta Love. And Cryin! And One! God, nobody does it like that any more. I desperately hope he doesn't let his career go to an exclusively dance-pop place, because rock and roll needs him. I have these fantasies about him putting out an album full of 70s-80s classic rock sound with masses of electric guitar and soaring vocals. Honest to god fantasies- screw the porn, that's the thought that gets me off. Obviously he likes the club stuff and should do what he likes, but a girl can dream, and Music Again and Can't Let You Go give me hope. In short: this boy can dance however he fucking well likes.
Er, tl;dr. Short version: no need to defend Adam to me, never fear.
Re: Long comment response is also too long
Date: 2010-05-09 10:19 pm (UTC)Oh, and I definitely didn't think you were saying it was just a straight or just a feminist issue, I was just adding on. But yeah, I'd like to get faster at it. Because I can be as happy with, for instance, my body as can be, and if I'm in bed with a woman who's constantly critiquing her own--how am I supposed to relax and let her do stuff to me naked? Answer: I can't. And that makes even mechanically fantastic sex much lesser.
Re: Long comment response is also too long
Date: 2010-05-09 10:23 pm (UTC)Re: Long comment response is also too long
Date: 2010-05-09 10:31 pm (UTC)(I've always avoided ontd-anything- seemed a little young and capslocky for me, though I think I might have technically joined ontd_ai to get at some locked stuff- but it seems like this is a whole different vibe)
Re: Long comment response is also too long
Date: 2010-05-09 10:42 pm (UTC)It's good times. I mean, there's a lot of bad, but the bad there is on a whole different level of, you know, still better than 68% of everybody. It's like Canadian immigration: sucks royally, but probably the best system in the world.