And it's not even "putting up", it's appreciating him for who he is. And to be honest, I don't see Sam doing that. There interactions are very condescending, very negative, which turns me off to her her in a major way.
See, this may be more of me seeing myself in Rodney. Projection city. But I've had very close friendships like that- friendships that look, from the outside, like we hate each other and spend all our time arguing rather violently. And it's an intellectual respect thing- I'm a not terribly socially adept, very combative person. I crave someone who will tell me I'm an idiot, and attack my ideas (whether they're right or wrong) hard enough that I really have to defend them- and will let me attack them just as hard in return. I like being able to respect someone else enough to know that they CAN defend against me, that they are smart enough to stand up for themselves, and I like that kind of friendship that is secure enough that you don't have to worry about being "nice" to the other person, or worry about pulling punches so they'll like you. Either because you're secure enough in liking each other, or because your connection turns on combativeness and respect and interdependence and is a lot more complex than just "like."
Their final interaction so far- when Sam kisses Rodney on the cheek and says she wouldn't be nearly so attracted to him if she didn't hate him- I can COMPLETELY see her really loving that particular dynamic. He doesn't pull punches, neither does she, and they respect each other so much that they can treat each other in ways she would NEVER treat anyone less able to stand up to her, less brilliant, or more constrained by military or social codes of nice, polite interaction.
And being willing to give Rodney that kind of intellectual respect- being willing to stand up to him, take his rudeness and abrasiveness and give your own back and not let that dissuade you from really engaging with him- isn't THAT appreciating him for who he is? I mean, that really looks to me like taking him on his own terms and appreciating who he is.
Or that's just me projecting my weirder social dynamics from college. Heh. And don't worry, I will be ALL OVER the John/Rodney. Have no fear.
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branchandroot
Re: Part 1, of 2
Date: 2008-04-30 06:32 pm (UTC)See, this may be more of me seeing myself in Rodney. Projection city. But I've had very close friendships like that- friendships that look, from the outside, like we hate each other and spend all our time arguing rather violently. And it's an intellectual respect thing- I'm a not terribly socially adept, very combative person. I crave someone who will tell me I'm an idiot, and attack my ideas (whether they're right or wrong) hard enough that I really have to defend them- and will let me attack them just as hard in return. I like being able to respect someone else enough to know that they CAN defend against me, that they are smart enough to stand up for themselves, and I like that kind of friendship that is secure enough that you don't have to worry about being "nice" to the other person, or worry about pulling punches so they'll like you. Either because you're secure enough in liking each other, or because your connection turns on combativeness and respect and interdependence and is a lot more complex than just "like."
Their final interaction so far- when Sam kisses Rodney on the cheek and says she wouldn't be nearly so attracted to him if she didn't hate him- I can COMPLETELY see her really loving that particular dynamic. He doesn't pull punches, neither does she, and they respect each other so much that they can treat each other in ways she would NEVER treat anyone less able to stand up to her, less brilliant, or more constrained by military or social codes of nice, polite interaction.
And being willing to give Rodney that kind of intellectual respect- being willing to stand up to him, take his rudeness and abrasiveness and give your own back and not let that dissuade you from really engaging with him- isn't THAT appreciating him for who he is? I mean, that really looks to me like taking him on his own terms and appreciating who he is.
Or that's just me projecting my weirder social dynamics from college. Heh. And don't worry, I will be ALL OVER the John/Rodney. Have no fear.