kay, so, I went to Wincon and I had the best time of my entire life
. For serious, bar absolutley nothing. And I came out of Wincon with thousands and thousands of meta thinky thoughts and plot bunnies, and dozens of people who were so cool to meet who I really really want to meet again, and I discussed things with people that I just don't discuss with Real Life Non Fandom people, and it was intelligent and interesting and engaging and a complete and total relief in that "things that I find worth devoting headspace to are being validated rather than mocked, and my porn habits disgust no one" sort of way. Which? WINS.
And it's funny, because I had a choice between going to Wincon last weekend or going to that actual big commercial Supernatural convention next weekend, with Nathan Filion and Jared Padalecki and other cool people and... I'm really glad I made the choice I did. Because as cool as it would be to just stand next to Jared (and seriously, there are not enough men that tall in the world) what I really really NEED right now in my life are friends
, not celebrity autographs. And I rarely actually make friends, in that, while I am fine at a little bit of chit-chat about the weather or whatever, I almost never feel like I have crossed that nebulous line from "awkward performance of social small talk ritual" to "really enjoying someone's company and wanting to be their friend" and that was happening all over the damn place at Wincon and it makes me happy. Happy in a way that might somewhat indicate my social patheticness and need for validation at this particular moment in my life, but whatever because it was FUN! Also? This will sound weird and melodramatic but there was this lovely fresh "out of the closet" sort of breeze about it, in that I devote TONS of headspace to things that I basically admit to nobody, so being friends with fangirls? Is a huge relief of that particular little neurosis. ( So I met really really cool people and had fun )( And there were panels that were awesome )( and I kept getting these thinky thoughts )( And this weekend might have made me slightly more sex-obsessed than even before )
So in short, I had a BLAST. And in the week since Wincon I have been applying for (and not being contacted for, or turned down for) jobs at a fairly steady rate, and have just been devouring
lj- back archives of fics and recs and meta from all these people I met at the con and I've been leaving comments like whoah which I never used to do and it's been so much fun I haven't even written anything of my own, either journal-wise or fic wise.
Except that I did drabble
(prompt: any X-over, "You've just been out-geeked!"). Is it weird that my first fic ever posted online is such a random drabble? It just BIT me, and now there's this huge X-over fic idea in my head. And of course, I proofread poorly, so now the only peice of my writing that exists on the internet contains Offenses Against Verb Tense the like of which people rant about in badfic conversations. It's fun, hitting "post" and then promptly feeling like Exhibit A in The Need for Betas, isn't it?
Episode reactions to come, as well as other stuff. Maybe, at some point, I will actually write fic? I want to, now.